If you’ve been checking the sky lately you might be forgiven for thinking there’s a new world order.
A celestial rarity has seen the solar system’s planets all aligned in a straight row, from the Earth’s perspective. Bit like ducks lined up, you might think, if you’ve been watching a certain bombastic US bloke on a purported mission from God.
He’s been working overtime to reshape his, and your, universe. Just how it might unfold is anything but predictable.
It’s intriguing to see Trump’s feverish decrees, pronouncements and grifts bolting out of the stalls: DEI, gender, defence, immigrants, tariffs, Ukraine, Greenland, Panama, the WHO, NATO, Gaza, the Paris Accord, Mars, oil, crypto $Trump, Doha …
It’s equally intriguing to see what’s not being tackled as the biggest player in the Western world seeks to make itself great again: homelessness, gun laws, universal healthcare, racism, the death penalty, hospo wages, sick pay, annual leave, gerrymanders – just some of the things where Old Glory is lagging behind the civilised world.
Had to laugh at the bloke kicked out of a Melbourne pub for wearing a MAGA hat. Says he’s off to the Equal Opportunity and Human Rights Commission. Bit of a DEI call, I’d have thought.
But yeah, that’s $TrumpCorp – anything but straight-shooting. Trump’s tariffs are under review from the get-go. His AI ambitions under siege from Musk, fighting with fellow financiers, and China’s budget player DeepSeek alike. His Ukraine fix is running well behind its Day One schedule.
His Gaza rapprochement – or was it Biden’s? – is perhaps the worst deal of his life, Stormy Daniels aside, with hundreds of Hamas killers swapped for a handful of citizens.
His crypto coin, and his wife’s, are both termed shitcoin within the industry. That’s gold.
And the Gulf of America? They’ll have to change some famous American folk song lyrics about kicking the Brits out back in the Battle of New Orleans. Talk about vandalism.
Of course, there are all those pardons, too. Can’t go crook at Biden when you’re doing the same, even if blokes you pardon are promptly shot and killed by cops in a traffic stop. That’s just bad luck, right?
And blaming DEI for the DC plane-chopper disaster only to be immediately accused of firing/ suspending/scaring air industry personnel and traffic controllers into quitting their jobs … well, that’s just bad luck too. Bit like watching that meteorite burning up over Melbourne last week.
Suspect we might see a bit more crash and burn stuff from the US in the not-too-distant future.
If it really worries you, you might want to book a ticket to Mars. Snake-oil salesmen could be offering them sooner than you think. Become a celestial rarity yourself.
Best you start saving your shitcoin now, though, it won’t be cheap.
This article appeared in the Geelong Advertiser 4 February 2025.
